When I was in elementary school, my mother affectionately referred to me as "a handful". Everyone else less affectionately referred to me as "a pain in the ass." I wasn't trying to be this way, but between my ADHD and precocious mind, it just sort of happened. Through the years, I had some teachers who kind of understood me and nurtured my need to be at the center of attention, and under these teachers, I excelled academically. But some teachers, more strict and ridgid, saw me as nothing more than a nuisance and a distraction and treated me as such. The worst of these was my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Harris.
Mrs. Harris was in her 40's when I had her, but was prematurely bitter. She wore her hair in a tight bun with ugly knitted sweaters and had pursed lips, like she sucked on lemons. From the second I saw her I knew she would hate me. I tried my hardest to be quiet, sit still and be a good student, but I could only hold out for so long. When the opportunity to speak out presented itself, I simply couldn't resist making a joke or adding my two cents. I frequently had to stay after school, where she would give me long lectures about proper behavior while I washed the chalkboards.
One day, nearing the end of the school year, Mrs. Harris was in a particularly bad mood. I recognized this and tried really hard not to anger her. But a 10 year old with ADHD has very little control of his impulses, and at one point, I simply had to make my voice heard. I made some joke during class, and she snapped. "Michael, shut up this instant", she screamed. "You are a loser and will never amount to anything in this lifetime."
When I relayed this message to my mother, she was furious. She always stood up for me, and wanted to do so again. But I suspected that Mrs. Harris was giving me lower grades than what I had actually earned, and I didn't want my mom to further incite her wrath. I begged her to leave it alone, which she did. But she fumed about it for a long time.
A few weeks ago, I received the following email from my mom:
You'll never guess who came into the shop today (note: my mother runs her own business). Mrs. Harris!!! Can you believe it?!?! So she came in, and as soon as she saw me, she sort of froze, like she knew exactly who I was but didn't want to talk to me. There was an awkward pause, and then she said hi, and we made small talk for a minute. I started to help her find what she wanted, when she finally asked, in a real snotty voice, "So how is Michael doing?" She asked it like she expected to hear you were a garbage man or something, and it pissed me off! So I told her, "Well, after he graduated Summa Cum Laude with a degree in finance, he went onto law school, where he is ranked near the top of his class." She looked both stunned and embarassed. I just smiled and said, "I guess he did make something out of himself after all."
Thanks, Mom.
