One day during the summer that I worked there, I was scheduled to work from 10-6 on a Sunday. I was hungover and tired, and did not want to be there. I was working with a girl named Missy, who was a great audience for all my pranks and thought I was hilarious. I kept complaining that I wanted to go home, and finally, she told me, "Just go home then". I thought about it, but didn't want to give up eight hours of pay. I told her this, and she said, "Screw it, just go home, and come back around 6 to clock out. The managers are idiots, they won't know whats going on".
So I left, enjoyed my Sunday afternoon, and at about 5:45, headed back to the store. I walked in, headed back to the break room, sat around, went up front, and clocked out. When I got home at about 10 after 6, my mom said that a girl named Missy had just called and that it was important. I called her back, and she told me that Judy, our manager, had stopped by and asked where I was, and she told her that I had run to Subway for my break. She told me that Judy seemed a bit suspicious, but bought the story.
A few days later, Missy and I were working together again, and I told Missy that I was worried because I didn't clock out for breaks on Sunday, and I might get caught. Missy told me I had nothing to be worried about. I told her I did, and then proceeded to do my spot on impression of Judy and her Tennessee twang, saying "Mike, did you just clock in at 10, leave, and come back to clock out at 6?" Missy laughed, when all of the sudden Judy came back to the video department. "Mike", she said, "why didn't you clock out for any breaks on Sunday?" I thought for a second, and told her that I must have forgot.
She looked at me for a second, and said, "Are you sure you didn't just clock in at 10, go home, and come back to clock out at 6?"
Missy was standing behind Judy, and upon hearing this, almost burst into laughter because she nearly said verbatim what I had said not two minutes before. I saw Missy try to keep from laughing, and I had the sudden urge to laugh myself. Trying my hardest to keep it in, I said, "No, I was here. Ask Missy." Judy turned around and asked Missy to confirm my story. Missy was apparently not expecting this turn of events, and when Judy turned around, she almost lost it. "He was here, I swear", she blurted out, her face getting red from trying not to laugh.
Judy was not a dumb woman, and she could clearly see that we were both trying very hard not to laugh. She looked at us, then turned to leave. But before she left, she turned around, and said, in her thick Tennessee accent, "Are you two in cahoots?"
At this, both of us began laughing hysterically. Hearing Judy use the word 'cahoots' was the funniest thing I had ever heard. 'Cahoots' is not a word you hear outside of 1930's crime movies or Abbot & Costello routines, and hearing Judy of all people say it was just too much. We both were laughing so hard we were crying, and my sides began to hurt so bad I had to sit down.
Judy stormed out and came back with the store's head manager, a guy named Jim. He demanded I come to his office and explain myself. I quickly regained my composure and followed him upstairs. Doing my damnedest to channel Ferris Bueller, I smoothely explained the whole situation, why 'cahoots' sounded so funny, the fact that the 'k' sound is the funniest of all sounds and that we meant no disprespect towards Judy. We spoke for a half-hour, talking about my high school's sports program, my college plans, and the store. After that, he walked me back down to the video department, shook may hand, turned to Judy and said, "You got a hell of a young man working here. I wish we had a dozen more just like him."
