Monday, April 11, 2005

People You Meet at Law School #6: The Feminist Law Student

"I am woman, hear me roar"
-Helen Reddy

Ladies, do you know who Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton are but shrug quizzically when Camille Paglia or Gloria Steinem are mentioned? If you do, then you belong to the 99% of all women who find beauty and celebrity more intriguing than inequality and empowerment. Don't feel guilty, though, ladies, that lone 1% is picking up the slack for you and defending your rights. That 1% is so motivated to create a gender-neutral (in some cases) or gender-preferred (in others) society that they have gone to law school to become the Feminist Law Student.

The Feminist Law Student analyzes every statement and every text for unwarranted male preference. Upon, finding it, she proudly announces to everyone the inequity she has found through deconstruction. Ex: "Bush is planning on sending a probe to Mars. This is clearly prejudicial towards women as we all know that MEN are from mars and women are from Venus. I'll be preparing my own space probe to Venus in protest".

Despite having "oppressors" in her immediate family she is quick to lament her plight to other aggrieved minority groups.

Feminist Law Student: My father gave me a Barbie Doll. Can you imagine what it's like to live up to that unrealistic sexist standard.
Non-white Listener: Of course I can. Only I realized that standard was impossible at age 5 not age 15.

Spotting the Feminist Law Student is easy, as she dresses for her mood.
1) Bad Mood: West German Army Jacket. Cargo Pants. Dockers. (in a state of quiet war against the patriarchy)
2) Average Mood: Hillary '08 T-shirt and Jeans, Tennis Shoes. (as gender neutral as possible)
3) Good Mood: Cable-knit sweater, Ankle length skirt, Birkenstocks. (willing to feel just a little pretty).

Desperate Girl (People You Meet in LS # 1) hates Feminist Law Student. Desperate Girl says, "It's women like her that keep the rest of us from landing a husband"

Both Desperate Girl and Feminist Law Student hate Hot Girl (People You Meet in LS #4).

Hot Girl thinks Desperate Girl and Feminist Law Student are "Sweet. But, Feminist Law Student should really let her hair frame her face."