Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Have You Hugged Your Gunner Today?

I received an IM the other day from a reader who had a post suggestion. “Why haven’t you done a whole post devoted to ripping apart gunners,” the reader asked. Sure, we have taken little jabs here and there, but the reader is right; we haven’t done a whole post about gunners. There are two reasons for this: The first reason is that it’s such an easy target, what else can possibly be said on the topic. And the second reason may surprise you, especially coming from me, but I like gunners.

Before you faint or close the browser, thinking I’ve gone crazy or soft or both, hear me out. Gunners serve a purpose within the law school ecosystem. Just think, where we would be without gunners?

When you are called on and you are not prepared, who raises their hand to take the heat off of you? A gunner does, that’s who.

When the professor asks a question of the class, who volunteers and keeps you from having to answer? That’s right, a gunner.

Are old outlines passed around your school, outlines so immaculate and stunning that it seems as if Gilbert himself did them? If so, I bet a gunner made it.

If you’re like me, you like to sit in the back row. Gunners faithfully fill in those seats in the first few rows, leaving me with more seating options.

On those days where everyone skips, someone has to show up to class. And gunners will be there, rain or shine.

If you forgot what the assignment was, who else can you ask that will know off the top of their head? I know someone who does.

When someone is breaking the honor code, are you going to report them? I'm not going to, but somebody has to.

Do you want to find a graduation speaker, arrange for a federal judge to come and talk about the death penalty, or be the one to order the pizza for a club to eat at lunch? I sure don’t.

And that law review isn’t going to edit itself, is it?

You see, you may not like gunners, but you need gunners. They make the law school world go round. So the next time you see your local gunner, don’t pretend not to see him and then crack a joke at his expense; go up and give him a hug and thank him for making your path through law school just a little bit easier. And maybe, just maybe, if you’re lucky, he won’t file battery charges against you.