Thursday, May 05, 2005

The Hustler

I wonder if there's a disgraced law review editor who travels from bar to bar across the nation.

Disgraced Law Review Editor: "I got a hundred dollars here that says I can out-appellate-brief any man in this bar"

Drunk Lawyer: "I'll take that bet!"

(Disgraced Law Review Editor starts off slow, citing the wrong jurisdictions, so as not to arouse any suspicion, but finishes strong with direct Supreme Court authority)

Sooner or later, though, the Disgraced Law Review Editor will write a check his appellate argument ability cannot cash in.

Portly Gentleman: "Thought you could hustle me, huh? I don't think you expected me to define the new sentencing guidelines after United States vs. Booker. Now pay up!"

Disgraced Law Review Editor: "Who?...Who are you?"

Portly Gentlemen: "They call me University of Minnesota Fats."