Friday, May 06, 2005

People You Meet During Exams # 3: Smugman

It's no surprise that egos abound at law school. However, after a semester of one-upmanship and socratic questioning, every broad-shouldered, bright-eyed Biff Loman shrivels down to his disappointed, self-doubting father, Willy.

One law student, however, manages to "suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" with ease. That law student is Smugman (pronounced briskly as Smug-Mun.)

Smugman saunters through the halls with his chin up and his chest out, never obsessing about minute points of law or his standing amongst his peers. His self-confidence is a carnival mirror for further excaberating the anxiety of his peers.

While I cheer the fact that there is at least one emotionally well balanced person in law school, I can't help wonder if he was always this way.

Smugman at Age 2: Don't get too used to all that wiping, Mom. I plan on being consistent with the potty within a month.

Smugman at Age 6: Let's not waste your valuable time, Nurse Weathers. I can read the bottom line of this optometry test. K, 5, E, M, P.

Smugman at Age 13: Realistically, this Bar Mitzvah is just a formality. When I walked through the doors of this temple, I was already a man.

Smugman at Age 16: Parallel parking? Hell, I could even do it perpendicularly if it was allowed.

Smugman at Age 18: Be Gentle? Don't worry, my dear. After all, I didn't bring this "French Tickler" as a gag.