Watching television the other night, I had an epiphany. I won’t be able to use this particular advice myself, but for hundreds of readers, this could be the difference between getting that dream job when OCI rolls around and blindly writing letters to firms in hopes that you can line up any legal job before you graduate.
Are you ready? Okay, do you have a real passion for the law but only modest talents? If so, here is what you do: First, dye your hair gray so that you look like one of your parent’s friends; next, develop some facial tics and an “aw shucks” manner of speaking; then, throw away all self-consciousness and act like an idiot; after that, say “wooooo” a lot; and finally, develop a catch phrase that you spout anytime you can’t think of anything else to say. Follow these steps, and hiring partners will be throwing much more qualified people out of the way to make you an offer.
Taylor Hicks as the American Idol? This show has officially hit rock bottom, something which I didn’t think could happen after the Clay Aiken debacle. If Taylor Hicks is worthy of being American Idol, I am worthy of being the Dean of a prestigious law school. The American Idol should be someone who is marketable to a large portion of the population. We learned this the hard way with Ruben Studdard. Taylor Hicks falls under the same category. Are little girls going to want to put posters of him on their walls? Of course not. Do we really think he can produce viable pop songs that will get heavy rotation on a top-40 radio station, especially in the long run? I’ll bet against it. The American Idol should be young, fresh, and hip, not a baby boomer that looks like an odd mix between Mark Cuban and Jay Leno. Male idols should inspire men to want to be him, and women to want to be with him. No guy I know would want to look like Bill Clinton circa 1991, and only the most desperate of women have expressed a fondness for him. On the other hand, Taylor is the perfect guy for girls to take home to dad, because they have been golfing since the mid-eighties.
But America has spoken, and I think we can apply what we learned here to interviewing. Your skills and qualifications are secondary to your appeal to the lowest common denominator. Just hope that the person you interview with is not a Simon, with his common sense and acid tongue, unafraid to point out your many, many flaws. No, you better hope it’s a Paula, filled with compliments waiting to be dispensed and a heart waiting to be melted, and a glass full of rum on the table in front of her.
