Tuesday, May 02, 2006

People You Meet in Law School # 17: The BFFs

There are a few certainties in law school: The biggest know-it-all in your section will do poorly the first semester; Career Services will not help you with finding a career nor will they provide any sort of service; and female law students pair off by twos and become attached at the hips. These pairs are the Best Friends Forever, or BFFs.

The birth of a BFF relationship is quick yet subtle. On the first day of orientation, two girls spy each other from across the room, size each other up, and with a slight nod of the head decide that for the next three years, they will be inseparable. It’s as if they give off a pheromone that says “I’m into Kate Spade, chocolate martinis, and going after men that are out of my league”. Her doppelganger picks up this pheromone, and the next thing you know, the two girls are eating together, sitting next to each other in class, going to bars together, studying together, and generally not letting the other out of her sight.

A few defining characteristics of the typical BFF relationship: 1) The two girls will be roughly at the same level of attractiveness. However, each will secretly believe herself to be the better looking of the duo; 2) The two girls will have the same, or very similar, fashion styles. The wisest girls will pick a BFF who is the same size, so that her wardrobe options double; and 3) The BFFs will almost always have the same relationship status. Married girls pair up with other married girls, engaged girls with other engaged girls, and single girls with single girls. (Note: The very best pairs of BFFs will have alliterative names, such as Katie and Kim, Amber and Ashley, Leah and Laura, etc.)

Beyond those defining characteristic, each pair of BFFs can be categorized further by examining who they are. Some of the common BFF pairings:

*The Hot Girl BFFs- It’s a fact of life that in any social group, the hot girls will find each other and become friends.
*The Faux Hot Girl BFFs- Just because something quacks like a duck and walks like a duck doesn’t make it a duck, especially if it looks like a frog.
*The Ann Coulter BFFs- BFFs who are very active in the Republican Law Society.
*The Feminist BFFs- They are the mortal enemies of the Ann Coulter BFFs, and also the most likely to “experiment” with each other.
*The Party Girl BFFs- An added benefit: There is always someone to hold her hair back.
*The Married BFFs- It’s nice to have someone with whom to talk about how boring life has become.
*The Nerdy BFFs- What’s better than an overachiever making an outline? Two overachievers making two outlines.
*The Desperate Girl BFFs- Misery loves company.
*The Girl and Gay Guy BFFs- Because every homosexual male needs a female best friend.

Law school only lasts three years, so what becomes of the BFFs afterwards? Some will serve as bridesmaids in their respective weddings and remain active parts of each other’s social lives, forcing their husbands into awkward conversations about lawn care and sports for years to come. Others will grow apart, becoming networking contacts and having lunch together a few times a year, always parting by saying “We must do this more often”, but never really meaning it. Sadly, some will lose contact and get chalked up as one of those situational friends that people tend to make over the course of their lives, like a best friend from camp with whom you correspond a few times and then never again. And unfortunately, despite these seemingly deep bonds that have been formed, this is still law school and these are still women. This means, of course, that a girl would gladly throw her BFF in front of a truck if it meant grabbing a man or a job.