VI. Thou shall avoideth classes taught by tenured professors. In general, tenured professors are more likely to give low grades than non-tenured professors. Professors without tenure are like an insecure girl in high school; they desperately want to be liked and won’t do anything to rock the boat (like giving out grades lower than a C). Classes taught by an adjunct professor are also a good option. Adjuncts are usually more laid back and straightforward. However, always keep in mind the first commandment, about choosing your professors with care. Every now and then, you’ll run across a non-tenured prof who is trying to establish himself as a hardass, or an adjunct who treats his two-hour per week class like a Paper Chase fantasy camp. But in general, those professors who are not full time or tenured are your best bets for a smooth ride through the class.
VII. Thou shall avoideth classes subject to the grading curve. While being part of a large class has some advantages, such as more anonymity and slacking with greater ease, it does have the disadvantage of being curved, which means, of course, that a healthy portion of C’s will be handed out. However, classes which are not subject to the grading curve are more likely to produce a higher number of good grades since the professor isn’t bound to deem a percentage of the students below average. However, again remember the first commandment and know what the prof is like before you decide to take the class. The last thing you want is to sign up for a class on some obscure topic, along with eight other people, only to have the prof grade hard and subject you to being called on daily. But usually, when combined with adjuncts or non-tenured professors, as discussed above, you have the perfect storm for an easy A.
VIII. Thou shall striketh an appropriate balance between papers and finals. After a year in law school, you should have a fairly good grasp on your strengths and weaknesses as a student. Maybe you have an unusual gift for completing multiple choice exams, or perhaps you have a knack for writing essays. Or you may possibly hate exams but don’t really mind writing papers. The beauty of choosing your own schedule is that you can dictate how many classes for which you’ll write papers or take exams. All the same warnings apply: You probably don’t want to take Professor Asshole just because he offers a multiple choice exam, nor do you want to sign up for a paper class without knowing the parameters of the paper. Sure, you may not like taking exams, but wouldn’t taking a three hour exam be easier than writing a 60 page, law review quality paper on product liability?
IX. Thou shall investeth in a DVR. Yes, this one isn’t really school related, but I don’t believe any law student can fully enjoy their experience without owning a DVR. Ask anyone who has one; they will tell you that they don’t know how they ever got by without it. If done correctly, you should have at least 50% more free time during your final two years than you did as a 1L. If you don’t fill this free time with something productive, you may be tempted to do something silly, like reread your assignments. Answer this question: It’s 3pm on a Tuesday, and you are done for the day. Which would you rather do, make case briefs for Federal Tax, or watch the marathon of “My Super Sweet Sixteen” that you recorded over the weekend?
X. Thou shall findeth those people whom thy liketh, and treateth the rest of the people like ghosts. The biggest complaint that people have about law school is not academic but personal. Specifically, many ILs get a bitter taste in their mouths because of their fellow classmates. How can you stand two more years? There is a simple solution to this problem: stop associating with the people you don’t care for. Figure out who you like and hang out with them. Sit next to them in class, eat lunch with them, and call them on the weekends. As for the people you don’t like, pretend they aren’t there. Don’t talk to them, don’t talk about them, and don’t even acknowledge their existence. It’s really quite easy. Once you stop sweating someone’s presence, they stop bothering you. You have your friends, and you can always expand your group. But for the people who bother you so much, just treat them like ghosts in your own law school and the place won’t seem quite so bad.
