5. Superfluous vulgarity. As all bad comedians know, when all else fails, curse. Cursing and vulgar language should be used to enhance humor, not be the source of it. For example: I walked to the store and bought some beer. Not funny. Compare: I walked to the motherfucking store and bought some fucking beer. Not funny, unless you are an idiot.
4. The Footnote*
3. Subtle Bragging. We will not use any little occurrence in our day to day life to remind our readers about our big firm jobs and status on the law review. (Because neither of us has a big firm job, nor is either of us on the law review. But if we were, you wouldn't know about it.)
2. News Analysis. We promise never to post a link to a news story and then provide our own analysis, unless that analysis is done by way of a professional wrestling analogy.
1. The Cross Out. We will never employ the trick where we write something, and then cross it out, and write something else. This trick is
* I will never put an asterisk so you will read an addendum to a comment that you can't even remember two paragraphs later
