Law & Order episodes all follow the same basic formula: A crime is committed, some clues are found, the detectives come up with the names of a few people they’d like to speak to, and they go out to find those people. Generally, one person they speak to is a witness, one person they speak to is the future defendant, and one person is a red herring, designed to throw the audience off.
Something always bothers me about these interviews. If they talk to the person out in the real world, as opposed to at the station, the person never seems overly concerned about the fact that two homicide/special victims detective are talking to them. They go about their business, looking at blueprints, bussing tables, or making copies, every so often shouting out instructions to an off-screen employee or stop to fix something amiss. Then, after a few questions, they cut the conversation short by saying “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have customers to attend to,” or “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a business to run,” or perhaps, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting to get to.” The detectives leave, but not without dropping a witty parting line.
I always wondered if this was realistic. Do people routinely treat detectives investigating their involvement in a serious felony like a minor annoyance that they can dismiss when they are bored? Well, the other day, I found out. I was cleaning my kitchen when there was a loud knock at my door. I looked through the peephole to see a uniformed officer and another guy. I opened it up, and the other guy introduced himself as a detective, and wanted to ask me a few questions. I invited them in, and continued scrubbing my counter. After a few moments, I became bored and said “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to run the vacuum.” They left, and the detective said, “For both our sakes, I hope your sink's as clean as your conscience.”
Actually, it didn’t happen that way at all. I opened the door and stepped out into the hall. They introduced themselves, and asked if I knew a guy who lives in my building. I told them that I didn’t know who he was. They thanked me and knocked on another door. I went back inside and continued my cleaning. My encounter was neither interesting nor anything like on TV. I am convinced, however, that I was just the red herring designed to throw the audience off.
