Thursday, April 21, 2005

Law School vs. High School

The past two days we have been searching for an educational experience that law school is superior to. On Tuesday, med school easily outdistanced law school. Yesterday, law school was upset by barber college. Today we are going to set the bar low and see how law school stacks up against high school.

Career Options With Diploma
Law School: Any number of areas of law, and many non-legal careers as well
High School: I hear Jiffy Lube starts at $8.50 an hour
Advantage: Law School

Point of Pride
Law School: Moot Court team
High School: Football team
Advantage: High School. 5000 people never showed up to watch a fake court proceeding.

Attendance Policy
Law School: If any policy at all, you can miss so many classes before your grade is lowered
High School: Unexcused absence results in Saturday school
Advantage: Law School. (Unless you get to have Saturday school with Molly Ringwald)

Formal Dance
Law School: Barrister's Ball
High School: Prom
Advantage: Law School. There is no awkward teenager dressed up in a tux he had to work 60 hours at McDonalds just to rent (and they serve alcohol) .

Best 80's Movie About School
Law School: Soul Man
High School: The Breakfast Club
Advantage: Law School. C. Thomas Howell in black face to get a minority scholarship to Harvard. Enough said.

What To Do If The Mainstream Kids Don't Like You
High School: Become a goth.
Law School: Join the Federalist Society
Advantage: Law School. The goths have never stacked the federal judiciary.

Blow Off Class
Law School: Torts
High School: Gym
Advantage: High School (unless you are fat)

Bathroom Policy
Law School: Get up and leave if you have to go.
High School: You can only go if the teacher signs your hall pass.
Advantage: Law School

Pointless Organization with No Real Power
Law School: Student Bar Association
High School: Student Government
Advantage: Tie. A fake governing body is a fake governing body, no matter where you are.

There you have it, Law School prevails over High School by a score of 6-2-1. We can all now look down upon high school kids, knowing that our current educational experience is vastly superior to their own.