Friday, April 08, 2005

People You Meet at Law School #5: Jean Shorts Guy

"You talk about things that nobody cares
You’re wearing out things that nobody wears"
-Aerosmith, 'Sweet Emotion'

It's a wonderful time of year! The long, cold winter is giving way to sunshine and mild temperatures. Birds are chirping. Flowers are blooming. Girls are putting their sweaters back into the closet and emerging with tank tops and sundresses (who knew a mere shoulder could be alluring) . But the return of Spring also means the end of a long hibernation for one of natures most hideous and mysterious creatures: The Jean Shorts Guy

You know who he is: Pasty white legs emerge from an indigo cut of fine demin, ending just above the knee. He wears a t-shirt bearing the name of a concert he attended long ago, or perhaps just a simple shirt proudly displaying that he is a member of the law school basketball/softball/foosball team. Jean Short Guy is a fashion abomination, no doubt. He is a throwback to the 80's, a simpler time, when all we wanted to do was a-zoom-zoom in your boom-boom. But in the cutthroat atmosphere of today's law school, it's hard to take someone seriously when the first thing that pops into your mind when you see him is "Are those Bugle Boy Jeans you are wearing?"

This all begs the questions, what becomes of Jean Shorts Guy after law school? Does he become an associate at a prestigious firm? Does he land a Federal Clerkship? I shudder at the thought that Jean Shorts Guy could succeed in such a competitve field. I 'm sure the reality is that Jean Shorts Guy is tucked away in some back corner of the US Patent Office or some third-rate tax firm, stuck doing paperwork while his better dressed collegues actually get to meet with clients and be real lawyers. One thing is for sure. Upon graduation, he emerges from his denim cocoon and metamorphisizes into: Short-Sleeve-Dress-Shirt-and-Tie Man.