Sunday, April 03, 2005

People You Meet at Law School #2: The Old Guy

"That Ol' Man River.
He must know somepin.'"
-Oscar Hammerstein "Old Man River"

Walk down the hall at your average law school and the scene will probably resemble a real life version of Saved By The Bell: People in their mid-twenties doing their best to portray high schoolers, with a couple of square middle aged men thrown in the mix. Only these middle aged men aren’t the Mr. Beldings of the law school world: They are students too. They are The Old Guy.

Old Guys enroll for many reasons: a desire for a career change, a mid-life crisis, or the hope that the grass is greener on this side of the law school fence. Whatever the reason, it is inevitable that your law school has at least a couple of Old Guys enrolled.

Spotting the Old Guy is easy: He’ll at least be in his mid-thirties, if not older; he’ll probably be a bit doughy; there is a good chance that he’ll sport a mustache and/or beard; and he’ll be just uncool enough to make you feel like you are taking class with your dad.

The Old Guy’s wardrobe can vary. Some Old Guys prefer to don the sensible worn Cotton Dockers and one-size-too-small polo shirt that they wore to work before coming to law school. Others try to fit in with their younger classmates, but miss the mark by wearing tapered jeans and tucking in their shirt a little too much. Yet others go the extra mile to dress the part, carefully imitating the fashions of the day. Sadly, these men don’t look hip; they look like they wore something out of their son’s closet.

Now, there is no problem with someone a bit older than the average law student wanting to improve himself. However, the Old Guy irks most of his younger counterparts by trying to assume a role of class expert. You see, the Old Guy may have his Bachelors in Engineering, but he definitely has his Ph.D in Life Experience. If something has happened, the he has done it, seen it, heard about it, or knew a guy who knew someone who was there. He also likes to speak up in class. For the Old Guy, no anecdote is too long and no legal theory is too off-base to keep to himself. To the Old Guy, the only thing sweeter than the self-satisfaction of going back to school is the sound of his own voice.