Wednesday, April 06, 2005

People You Meet at Law School #4: The Hot Girl

When forty winters shall besiege thy brow,
And dig deep trenches in thy beauty's field,
Thy youth's proud livery so gazed on now,
Will be a totter'd weed of small worth held"
-William Shakespeare "Sonnet II"

Law school women are a lot like the WNBA. A few hot ones, a lot of average ones, and some really ugly ones as well (see, e.g, the rest of the WNBA). There are a few truly beautiful women who attend law school. This begs the question, "Why?"

Why would a gorgeous woman spend what are, arguably, the best looking years of her life cooped up in a library around people who finish jokes with punch lines like, "That's Scalia for you"? Why would someone of her beauty subject themselves to a blind grading system?

Whatever the reason, the Hot Girl trudges on like the rest of us, furrowing her beautiful brow in an attempt understand contracts.

Other girls say they went to Law School because they "like to argue". The Hot Girl has never had an argument in her life. She is always just a few batted lashes away from getting what she wants. Needless to say, there are no speeding tickets on her character and fitness bar application.

Hot Girl, I plead with you, drop out of law school and coast on your looks. You have nothing to prove in this dark, dank building. In fact, you're only making the rest of us look and feel uglier.

For all we know, Miranda from 'Sex and the City' was the Hot Girl of her law school only to wake up one day married to a spastic bartender, living in Brooklyn, and envying her less successful friends.