I was recently in a settlement hearing my clinic client. It was pretty exciting to actually negotiate over an issue that was worth a few thousand dollars to my client. In retrospect, it was a lot less dramatic than I thought at the time. This is how I wish it went:
Opposing counsel: I'm going to squeeze you, Russ, because I don't like you; I don't like the kind of man you are. I despise your masquerade, and the dishonest way you pose yourself and your fucking client.
Russ: (quietly) We're all part of the same hypocrisy, Counselor. But never think it applies to my client.
Opposing Counsel: All right, then let me say you'll pay me because it's in your interests to pay me. I'll expect your answer, with payment, by tomorrow morning. Only don't contact me...from now on, deal only through Turnbull.
Russ: Counselor...(cold and calm)...you can have my answer now if you'd like. My offer is this. Nothing...not even the twenty thousand dollars for the Gaming Commission, which I'd appreciate if you would put up personally.
In actuality it didn't play out like a scene from Godfather II. It actually went like this:
Russ: We want a reinstatement of the car loan.
Opposing Counsel: Impossible.
Russ: How about giving you the title with no liability.
Opposing Counsel: That works.
Russ: And no 1099 tax liability?
Opposing Counsel: I'll look into that.
Russ: Good.
Opposing Counsel: Good. See you in two months at the next hearing.
Ugh! Even when law is interesting it's still dull by comparison
