Thursday, September 01, 2005

Too Hot for Law School?

A few weeks ago a girl named Emily found our blog and was nice enough to rave about our genius on her blog. Emily was turned onto our blog because she is considering going to law school. We noticed however that law school may not be for her as the picture she included of herself on the blog revealed her to be surpringly attractive.

I consider myself to be somewhat of an enlightened male, in the sense that I support equal rights for women and such, and any chauvinism I might harbor is benign. But when I sit in a law school class and see a beautiful girl sitting across the aisle, I can't help but wonder why she is here. She could find some successful guy, latch on and coast through life on her looks. Yet she comes to class every day, studies hard (which can lead to unsightly wrinkles) and pursues a law degree. As a male, I don't understand. If I could coast through life on my looks, I would. So why is this girl in law school? She certainly isn't taking the path of least resistance.

Or to put it on non-gender terms, David Robinson has a degree in mathematics from Naval Academy. He decided to rely on his physical attributes to earn millions playing 3 2-hour games a week for half the year, instead of "proving himself academically by becoming a math teacher." When you really think about it, Kevin Garnett, Junior College drop-out, is the more savvy of the two.

So lest she waste 3 of the most attractive years of her life. Mike and I decided to giver her this quiz to see if she is in fact "Too Hot for Law School." Here are her responses and my commentary.

1. Have you ever bought a guy a drink at a bar?

Emily: No. But I've been given free drinks for groups of friends before, so I've given drinks to guys.

Russ: I guess this doesn't really qualify as buying a guy a drink. If you had, that reeks of desperation. I'm a guy and I don't even buy women drinks for that reason.

Mike: Good answer...Nothing worse than a girl giving you a free beer and commenting on the latest sporting event.

2. What is the most expensive gift a boyfriend ever bought you?

Emily: That would be a pearl necklace. It is very beautiful and he was a good boyfriend.

Russ: Anything above costume jewelry or a gift that was actually a present for the boyfriend (like an Xbox) would qualify.

Mike: Why is it that after reading this answer, my mind immediately went to the pornographic definition of pearl necklace, and it took me a few seconds to realize she meant jewelry

3. When a drunk guy tells you "you're beautiful", do you believe him?

Emily: Some people close to me would tell you that I am bad at taking compliments, and sadly this is true but I am working on it! I would probably go "UGH right." I mean he is drunk.

Russ: Bad answer. When someone tells you you're beautiful you should react as though they said the sky was blue.

Mike: I disagree with Russ here. While he is right on some level, our friend Emily could be one of those hot girls who has a poor self-image, hence her desire to attend law school.

4. If you were a car, what kind of car would you be?

Emily: I want to say a mustang (old not new), because they are cool, and beautiful. But I'm probably more like my pathfinder, reliable, not that reasonable, and kind of sporty. Hahahaha this is a silly question Russ.

Russ: Reliability should not be your strong suit. Hot girls are like Italian sports cars: Sexy but High-Maintenance.

Mike: I don't know, lots of hot girls drive SUV's, undoubtably a gift from her adoring parents. And the less knowledge about cars that a girl has, the better. So the fact that she simply answered the car she owns, it could show both zro knowledge of cars and the requisite ditziness needed in a hot girl.

5. When you walk into a room, do you look to see if anyone is "prettier" than you?

Emily: No. I look for 3 things when I walk into a room. Where is the beer and food? Who is going to help me get this beer and food? Who will I sit and talk with while I enjoy this beer and food? If you want to look at things on a very serious note, I believe everyone does, to a certain extent, 'evaluate' their surroundings. By this I mean everyone examines the room to see, people they feel they can talk to, or interact with. I honestly don't believe I look at their attractiveness. I look for who is dancing, or laughing or who seem to be having an interesting or intense conversation and enjoying themselves.

Russ: All beautiful women will rank everyone in that room according to beauty. They won't tell you this, of course, but it's a fact.

Mike: I would expect only the most stuck-up hot girl to answer this question honestly.

6. Is buying underwear exciting, torturous, or does it just produce mixed feelings?

Emily: Buying underwear is exciting and wonderful! In fact I have plans to go underwear shopping soon with my friend Cecily. Victoria Secrete, here we come!

Russ: This speaks volumes. Very good.

Mike: Can I come too?

7. Have you ever been inside a Lane Bryant store?

Emily: Once, and I was confused because they didn't have anything my size. And this is an obvious question (at least it's purpose J)

Russ: It is, in fact, OK to have been inside of one of these stores. The feminine ideal of beauty is much more willowy than the male's. Just steer clear of pant suits and sweater sets, they are white flags in the battle to keep up your figure.

Mike: The only reason to go into Lane Bryant is to ask for directions to get away from the Lane Bryant.

8. Which Sex and the City character do you relate most to?

Emily: Doesn't everyone say Carrie? I believe one of you posted regarding this whole, "Which Sex in the City girl are you?" I am not as forward or sexually promiscuous as Samantha, although I like to be in charge like her. I am as innocent or optimistic as Charlotte. But I guess I occasionally get caught daydreaming about a perfect romance and love, like sweet Charlotte. I am not as sad and lonely as Miranda seems. Sadly I have this strange dream to go to law school and I guess that connects me to her, but when I am her age I think I want to be involved in politics ( : hmmmmm... And then there is Carrie. I have the most trouble finding what to say about her. I am not in an on again off again relationship with some jerk and I don't drink cosmopolitans that often, I prefer good beer. I do however ask questions and over analyze things the way she does. Basically I either see a lot of me, or I see a lot of what I want to be in her. But that is the ploy; they have made her into the admirable, yet faulty character. I think my answers above illustrate my relating to all of the characters and also that a person is multi-faceted. But for the sake of the quiz and to end this digression: Carrie. Ya happy? J

Russ: Carrie is the ugliest of the four and cannot keep a man. Bad answer

Mike: The fact that she referenced an old post of ours gives ger extra points in my book. But I think it is actually impossible for any self-respecting woman to answer anything other than Carrie. Still, Russ is right.

9. Do you think Renee Zellwegger was a love stuck fool or an irrepressible romantic in "Jerry McGuire"?

Emily: You mean irresponsible? Seriously I haven't seen that movie for years, and I can only picture that one corny line "you complete me"? And her making out with Tom Cruise. I don't know. I probably thought some it was just romantic love struck fool stuff. But I can't really think of an opinion on this.

Russ: That's the good answer. Renee Zellwegger, in that movie, was the female equivalent of those guys who want to date a girl who is pretty but doesn't know she's pretty. She dated a guy who was handsome but severely emotionally challenged. This happens more than you think.

Mike: At least you didn't identify with her character. Good answer.

10. Write a brief sentence with the word "binge" in it.

Emily: How about...sometimes when I am really hungry I have cravings to binge on things like ice cream and fries. Yum.

Russ: I'm sorry. I was looking for the word "purge".

Mike: (no comment)

In Conclusion, the results don't seem clear based on this test. I guess we just should have asked you for a photo