"Chocolate chip poundcake? Don't get too comfortable."
-Doug Heffernan on "The King of Queens" while putting away the groceries.
I'm sitting here watching a TV commercial for a mail order catalog called "King Size." It's a fat man catalog. At first glance I thought, 'Wow, this is pretty cool. Maybe I should get this and get some new clothes. Now I know they have big and tall shops, but that would mean actually going shopping. And with a catalog I wouldn't have to get off the couch.'
The commercial continued explaining how they had sizes 1XL through 10XL. That's when the tide turned for me. All I could think about was how ridiculous size 10XL was. What kind of person needs clothes that big? I mean, talk about letting yourself go! My 2XL is practically svelte in comparison. This commercial is trying to lump me together with 10X fat people. How dare they! I'm have the build of a dancer compared to these people who probably have to wash themselves with a rag on a stick!
The moral of the story, you never have to accept your faults as long as you hang out with others who have the same faults; and you can even feel good about yourself if you hang out with people whose faults are worse than yours.
Now where'd I leave that summer sausage?
