This past weekend, a loyal reader relayed this story to me about something that happened during his Torts review session. It immediately struck me as hilarious, but I wasn't sure if I should post it on the blog. I thought it over, and then I realized that this is too funny not to post. If nothing else, it'll help all you 1Ls feel better about yourselves.
We were in our review session for torts and this guy was completely lost. Let me just say now, this guy seemed to have his shit together. He is very much a type-A personality, the kind of guy you would think can handle pressure well. We never would have expected this from him. Anyway, during this review session, he just didn't get intent. For example, he thought that if you accidently hit somebody with your car you are liable because you intended to be driving your car. Like I said, he was lost. He kept asking the professor to clarify, and things began to get a little bit heated between them. They went back and forth for a few minutes, when finally, the guy, out of frustration, said, "Just tell me what you expect me to know for the exam."
The professor looked at him, and flatly said, "I expect you to know the law of torts."
What happened next was one of the most shocking things I have ever seen. The guy heard the professor's response and exploded. "Fuck you, man!", he shouted, and then he burst into tears.
And these weren't small tears. This was loud sobbing. The entire class, 90+ people, sat there in silence as he sobbed. And here is the craziest thing: The guy didn't get up and run out. He sat there weeping for the next ten minutes while the professor continued the review. Needless to say, no one heard anything the professor said for the rest of the period. We all sat there trying not to laugh at the ridiculous and almost unbelievable spectacle before us. After it was over, he wiped his tears away, packed up his stuff and trudged up to the libray like nothing happened.
A couple of thoughts upon hearing this story: First off....torts? Are you serious? We said it before, but torts is the gym class of law school. It doesn't get any easier than torts. Advice for all you 1Ls: If you struggle with torts, just end it now. Go to film school or something. Second... intent? You are stuck on intent? That's like the first day of class. Sticking with the gym class analogy, intent is like the easy activity they give the fat kid with asthma while everyone else runs laps.
As a final thought, I'd like to say that I hope our friend Weepy overcomes his struggles and achieves success in the legal field. Who knows, maybe Rehnquist burst into tears during his torts review session. One thing is certain though: Even if Weepy become Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, those 90 people in his class will remember him only has the guy who started bawling during torts.
