I just talked to my grandmother on the phone. She is old, and her health isn't great, and when she talkes to her grandchildren, she likes to hear good news. So when I talk to her, I try to stay positive and upbeat, no matter what. Here is how our conversation went.
Grandma: Hello Michael, how is my favorite law student?
Me: Couldn't be better. Just finished my fourth exam this morning, have one more Saturday.
Translation: I could be a lot better. A Saturday exam? Are you kidding me? Ridiculous.
Grandma: Four exams already? My you must have been busy these last few weeks.
Me: Oh yeah, it keeps me really busy.
Translation: I have spent a total of four hours studying since exams started, and that is a liberal estimate. By busy, I mean I have played two full seasons of NCAA Football 2006, watched numerous shows I saved on my Tivo, and spent hours chatting with adoring fans over IM.
Grandma: Did you take any interesting classes?
Me: Oh yeah, they are all interesting in one way or another.
Translation: I have never been more bored with something in my entire life. I would rather spend all my time watching vacation movies of people I have never met than take the classes I had this semester.
Grandma: Well that's wonderful. All A's this term?
Me: Hahaha, we'll have to see.
Translation: Don't hold your breath.
Grandma: I know you can do it. So do you know what you want to do after you graduate? Any prospects?
Me: A few, I have to see about a few things, figure some stuff out.
Transation: I have no idea. All I know is that I am not taking the bar this summer and I do not want to be an attorney. You'd think in this world, that would be a plus, but I guess not.
Grandma: Michael, you are a smart boy, you can do whatever you want.
Me: I know, it'll all work out just fine.
Translation: I know, it'll all work out just fine.
Grandma: I'll let you go now, I am sure you have a lot of work to do.
Me: Yeah, a few things.
Translation: The Simpsons Season 7 DVD just got here...I preordered it two months ago. I want to start watching.
Grandma: Okay, don't let me keep you...If you get a chance, you should come down and shovel your parent's driveway. They are so busy and never got to it.
Me: I'll try and squeeze it in.
Translation: Fat chance.
Grandma: You are such a sweet boy...Bye dear.
Me: Bye.
Translation: Now I feel guilty...But nothing that some chicken wings and Simpsons episodes with writer's commentary can't fix.
