Monday, December 05, 2005

Why You Are Asking Me, I'm Not Sure...

A fair number of desperate 1Ls have IMed me and requested advice on preparing for and taking exams. The fact that they are asking me for advice in fact proves their desperation. However, given the sheer number of people who have asked, I'll give it a shot.

The best advice about taking exams that I can give is: Be sure and write down your exam number and bring it with you. The first exam I ever took in law school was property. Like all of you 1Ls, I was understandably nervous. I thoroughly prepared for the exam (by using someone else's outline, of course). I brought two pens to use in case I needed to make notes. I brought a bottle of water and a granola bar. I dressed comfortably. And I arrived early to make sure the exam taking software loaded properly. I was the epitome of a well-prepared and focused law student.

I started the exam software (which, if you aren't aware, shuts down all other programs on the computer and makes them inaccessible). I was all set to take the exam when it prompted me for my exam number. Suddenly a wave of panic came over me as I realized that I had not looked at my exam number since it was emailed to me the week before. I sat frozen for a second, trying to figure out what to do. Finally, I went up to the proctor (who was one of the members of the school's administration) and asked if she had the exam numbers handy. She gave me a look like I had asked her if I could take a dump on her desk. Then I asked if I could go up to the computer lab and check my email, and she gave me a very stern "No". I asked what I should do, since I couldn't remember my exam number. In the typical helpful fashion of law school administrators everywhere, she said, "I don't know, but if you don't put the right one down, you'll fail."

I went back to my seat and contemplated what to do. Most of my classmates had already begun writing, and I still hadn't opened the exam. I began to think of what my exam number was. I tried to picture the email in my head. I could remember that the first two numbers were 77. But the last two numbers kept giving me fits. I was sure that the last two numbers were zero and four, but in what order. Was is 7740? Or 7704? I went back and forth for a few minutes, before finally settling on 7704.

I began taking the exam, fifteen minutes after everyone else did. I did the first essay just fine, before doubt started to creep into my head. "Was it really 7704? Are you sure it wasn't 7740?" I went back and forth all through the second (of five) essays. By the time I had finished the third one I had convinced myself that the number was actually 7740. I thought briefly of trying to change it, but I realized that was impossible. I went ahead and finished the exam, all the while going back and forth as to what my real exam number was. The proctor told us to stop, and I did. I saved my exam to the disk and turned it in. I told her I wasn't sure if I had the right number, and she provided no advice at all as to what I should do. So then rushed up to the computer lab to check and see if I had the right exam number. I opened that email, and, almost afraid to look, saw 7704 staring at me. I was immediately relieved and had learned a valuable lesson.

For the rest of my exams, I showed up with a big fat 7704 written on my hand with a sharpie. The moral of the story is: Law school administrators are assholes who don't have the best interests of the students in mind.