Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Not-So-Tiny Tim

I had Christmas dinner this year at a house with 8 adults and one 5 year old kid, Timmy. All the adults sat down for a quiet WASPy Christmas dinner while the poor kid was still wound up from all the earlier Christmas activity. Needless to say, Timmy did not ascribe to England's national child-behavior philosophy of being "seen and not heard."

Adult: Chomsky's 'Manufacturing Consent' is as true today as it was then...

Timmy: Who wants to play with my Robo-Raptor with me?

Adult: Anyways, a capital gains cut would be good for the economy, but at what cost...

Timmy: Can I have some of the chocolate in your stocking?

Finally, Timmy got into one of the Adult's things (a bag of architecture drafting equipment) and came back into the the dining room with a yard stick between his legs. Timmy pointed the yard stick coming out his crotch at all of us and shouted, "Hey guys! Look at my GIANT PENIS!" (emphasis not added)

The table became completely silent. The shocked parents sat there, mouths agape. Grandparents shot dirty looks, sure that the other side was responsible for such behavior. Everyone else sat quietly, loathe to further embarass anyone. Someone needed to pierce this akward silence.

"Timmy, It's not polite to brag," I said.