Saturday, December 24, 2005

My Name Is Santa And I'm an Alcoholic

Scene: Christmas Eve 1984

6 year old Russ: OK. I have a carrot for Santa's reindeer, some cookies for Santa, and a glass of milk.

Russ's Dad: Why don't you drink that milk, yourself. I think Santa would prefer a beer.

6 year old Russ: Really?

Russ's Dad: He's the one giving you the presents. You want to make him happy, don't you?

6 year old Russ: Good idea. Let's get a beer.

Russ's Dad: Get one for me while you're at it.

Scene: Christmas Day 1984

Russ: Wake up, Dad. Santa came and left a lot of presents. He also drank the beer! He also drank a bunch of your beers and left the bottles all empty on the coffee table. Santa must have been thirsty.

Russ's Dad: (groggily) He sure was....he sure was.