We get lots of emails and IMs from readers who want our advice on any number of topics. Rather than answer these personally, we decided to post these questions and our answers on the blog for the world to see. This week's questions comes to us from a female 1L:
Hey Guys,
I have a dilemma. Last semester, I started casually seeing this guy in my section, and we ended up sleeping together a few times. This was towards the end of the semester. He really has his shit together and made some really great outlines for our classes, and I asked if I could have a copy of them, because mine weren't so great. And guess what? The asshole told me 'no', and he isn't sharing with anyone! I could understand if we were just friends, but at this point I thought we were more than that. We didn't really talk much over break, but now he acts like he wants to be a real couple. What should I do?
First, can we please put to rest the phrase "sleeping together"? It's so 1980's sitcom. Please just say "hooking up" or "having sex" or "fucking" or something. Spare the euphenisms. Anyway, on to the question. It is my firm belief that outlines are to be shared, not hoarded. That isn't to say that you should have to give your outline to anyone who asks, but I think that if you two hooked up, he should have shared his outline. Now, it's possible he thought that you only had sex with him for his outlines. Although that isn't the case here, (and it would require a huge ego on his part), it is still a good exchange. Even if he thought that your motive was to obtain his outlines, he still should have shared. I am on the record saying that sex-for-outline exchanges are presumed valid.
Now we have moved forward, and you want to know whether to start seeing him again. The answer is quite simply no. This guy refused to share outlines with someone whom he had seen naked. That is unacceptable. What else is he going to refuse to share? Will he not give you a bite of his dessert? Will he not allow you to have a fair portion of the blankets, leaving you shivering on the edge of the bed? Will he make you chip in on his gas bill for the hot water you used when you showered at his house? This guy obviously does not have the qualities you should want in a boyfriend. He is a typical 'me-first' guy that there is an overabundance of in law school. I don't know you, or anything about you, but I am fairly certain you can do better.
Let me leave you with this: Last night I went out to dinner with my mom and stepdad. The dish my mom ordered was too spicy for her, so she asked my stepdad to trade. My stepdad, being the good guy he is, traded with her despite the fact that spicy food gives him the hiccups. Would this clown do that for you? Of course not. He'd selfishly eat his dinner while you sat there, staring at your plate. Then, he'd make you pay him back for the dinner you "refused to eat", and I bet he wouldn't even go through the Wendy's drive-thru on the way home, even though you were starving. So my advice is to forget him, and find a non-law student. Best of luck.
If you have something you need advice on, email it to barelylegalblog@gmail.com. All emails will remain anonymous.
