Yesterday's advice column led to a disagreement between myself and a reader, with whom Russ sided:
Reader: I must disagree with your assessment that because you have hooked up with someone, (isn't "hooking up" also a euphemism?) you get to have their outline?? It didn't sound like their relationship was that serious. They went out a few times and "ended up" sleeping together. Come on. That's not even a real relationship.
Plus, I know some people, like you :), don't take law school seriously, but seems like this guy did. He worked really hard on his outline, why should he share it with someone he "ended up" sleeping with? I don't think the girl should have asked for it to begin with. Did she even offer hers in return? Maybe she's not too smart, that doesn't seem like a good deal to me.
Hey, I don't know if she should date this guy again, but maybe she shouldn't be so ready to sleep with someone before she even knows if he likes her enough to share outlines! I'm a girl, so it's not like I am just siding with the guy for the sake of it. I say, she should give him another chance and not ask him to give up such a huge thing....You know that 1st semester law school makes everyone crazy!
Mike: Just because you hook up with someone doesn't mean you get to have their outline. But it does mean he should have given his outline to her. It's the difference between being nice and being an ass. I would have shared my outline, and I am nice. Russ wouldn't have (we disagreed), but he is an ass. As far as sharing outlines goes, it's one of those things you should just do. If you have made a good outline, and you share it, people will like you more, and think you are nice. I have recieved outlines from law review people for three years, and they are among the few people I have respect for who are on law review. And for the record, I never asked...They offered, and I didn't have to have sex with them. Regarding the guy, trust me, if the first semester of law school makes him that crazy, he isn't going to get any better.
Russ: I'm with you, sister, the only thing a person should be required to give with a night of fevered passion is oral.
Reader: Yes, I am sure you guys would have given your outines. But how valuable are your outlines, really? :) Maybe this dude put his whole life and soul into these outlines! Then he sleeps with this girl and all of a sudden she wants his outlines. Not really fair to him to expect that. Of course, I am not clear on the seriousness of their relationship. It just seems like they were acquaintances to happen to sleep together. If they were boyfriend/girlfriend, I would expect them to share, ... now I am just rambling because I have had too much to drink. Here's my conclusion, non-commital sex does not equal outline privileges.
Mike: You are missing the point. The key here is not the sex, it is the sharing of outlines. In very simple terms, Good person=shares outlines, Bad person=doesn't share outlines. It is that simple. The fact that she had sex with him does not entitle her to his outlines, but if anything, it should sweeten the deal on his end. But the fact that he refused to share the outlines even after their intimate relations just goes to show that he is a dick.
I would not be where I am without the kindness of people who share outlines. I have never had anyone refuse to share an outline, but I do know those people exist. At the end of the day, you have to care for your fellow man (and woman), and if that means letting them use your outline, then so be it. Those people who share their outlines will have good karma in their favor, and those who do not won't.You are correct: Non-commital sex does not equal outline sharing privileges. But I ask you: Shouldn't it? Shouldn't this young man have enough kindness is his heart to share his outline with a young lady who is trying to succeed in law school, just like him? He obviously likes her, if he still wants something with her. No, my anonymous friend, his refusal to share the outline is just a symptom of a deeper seeded issue, a problem with the very essence of his being. He is a prick, an ass, a cock, whatever adjective you want to use. This young lady deserves a man who has the decency to share outlines with his friends. I, for one, hope that she decides to cut off all ties with such a shallow and pedantic individual, for she deserves more.
Russ: Mike you are so gay. I don't even give my real name sometimes after sex, why would I give an outline? I mean where does it stop? Should I be obligated to change her oil as a fellow driver? Do her taxes as a fellow taxpayer? Sex for me is a one-night transaction which is, at most, followed by an awkward "hello" in the hall.
Mike: Russ, it is not about the sex. It is all about living in a society where you show some semblance of brotherhood to a fellow man (and woman). As far as I am concerned, outlines are community property, everybody has a stake in them. The theory of the socratic method is that all the students help teach fellow students. It follows then that outlines made by individual students should be shared with at least one fellow student in need. In this case, the fact that she had sex with him several times takes it out of the category of a one-night transaction. If he was a tax expert, he should have at least given her some advice on her returns. And don't give me this one-night transaction shit. You know how I know you're gay? I remember when you needed money on spring break, and you let secretly gay frat boys watch you jerk off in the car for $20.
Russ: I see your point, Mike. By the way, thanks again for the $20.
Mike: Unlike the assbag who wouldn't share his outlines, I am willing to help a friend in need. I would have given you the $20 regardless, but you were so insistant about earning it. Who am I to argue?
Reader: You are both apparently gay. Seen any good cowboy movies lately?
