When I was in undergrad with Mike, my senior year I started hanging around with younger guys (mostly sophomores). There isn’t a considerable difference between a 21 year old and a 19 year old but for some reason some of those younger guys would look to me as a leader and seek my advice, which I was always thought was ridiculous.
Brett from Blafayette: Russ, can we get a keg at our hotel this Spring Break?
Russ: (In a father’s knowing tone) Only if you’re good.
The fact that I was given any sort of extra respect based on my age struck me as so ludicrous that I would adopt a grizzled old man’s voice, patterned on Joe Paterno, whenever I gave advice. I dubbed this voice "The Fraternity Coach"
Like at a Party…
Russ: (As Fraternity Coach) Hansen, you’re getting no where with that girl. Hit the showers! Mookie, you’re up. Let’s see what the Mook can do out there.
Or before a test…
Russ: (As Fraternity Coach) Mike, You're six foot nothing. Two hundred and something. And you've got hardly a speck of academic ability. You hung in with the most mediocre school in the land for four years. And you're gonna walk out of here with a degree from (our mediocre undergrad). In this life you don't have to prove nothing to nobody except yourself. And after what you've gone through, if you haven't done that by now...it ain't gonna never happen."
After I graduated however, several people my same age (5th year seniors) where still in school and still active in the fraternity. Mike would call me up (he’s two years younger than me) and say, "You should hear the long winded speeches these guys give like they came off mount Sinai because they’re two years older."
Once again, I was bewildered by the idea of a 22 year old wise man. I told Mike, "You should stand up and say, ‘Why are we listening to people who can’t even graduate on time. Shouldn’t they be studying?’"
I guess I still haven’t changed much. For example...
